Day 10

2 weeks of almost continuous drinking have led to me to several conclusions:

1. Most women go home with the women they came with (I know brilliant insight)

2. Most women are tense as fuck in any bar or nightclub and their edginess makes it counterproductive to try to talk to them, they are on the defensive at all times from the moment they walk in

3. Time and money are wasted in bars and clubs, you should only ever go out to have fun with your friends

More than anything I regret the loss of time and the waste of money that could have been spent more productively. So now I am redirecting the money and time I would have spent on alcohol and being in a bar to doing things that are more meaningful and fulfilling to me.

I am focusing on the internal rather than the external state. I realized that this pursuit of external things is a waste of time, and pursuing internal happiness is the only true success in life.

Somehow the situation seems to be improving and yet it seems to remain the same, it is kind of a perplexing state to be in where you dont know if you are tricking yourself into believing things are getting better 

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